are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Randomize