so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
