I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
