so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
