Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
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Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
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I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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