Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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