How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Your tits are I can't wait for
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
