She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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