Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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