i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
