weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize