I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
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SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
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It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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