Say something about gay babies.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So much rum. So many feels.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
