yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
