Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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