If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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