Just mADE A PArabola og urine
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
This is the high leading the old right now
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize