I think my fart just growled at me.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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