Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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