this beer tastes like vomit already
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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