You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
