Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
