She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
