the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I AM VODKA MAN
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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