Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
