This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
