I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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