I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
