the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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