Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
They took my balls.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
