its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
