I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
