i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
