Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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