He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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