I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
