He asked to "fluff my boner.."
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
