Dude my mom stole all your condoms
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
