I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize