They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
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Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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