I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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