u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
the liver wants what the liver wants
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
