oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
