Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
