You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
