i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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