I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
