I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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