did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
