We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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