wrigley field is MILF paradise
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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