This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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