I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
